im so afraid i cant make it to the school,
them where would i be?
im so insecure and afraid now, im not even trying hard to get what i want. life goes on as usual for me. same shit different day, everything just passes by so quickly, opputunities lost, forgotten, mistakes made. and again a new day. and nothing acomplished. sometimes im, so freaked by the pace of life here, its so fast, im afraid i would get lost and trapped with nothing done. im so pissed, im nonchalant on the outside, and im such a poseur. i dont know how to deal with my insecurities and all i know is to stone forever, i dont get my work done nor 4revise, i dunno what the fuck is up with that, i used to be more hardworking and whatever i wanted i would get. now, i cant even seem to muster up the satrength to study. too many distractions. i want it baad, but sometimes i just wonder if i really do, or if its circumstances. sometimes i dont even know who i am anymore, what i want to do with my life. things happen so fast and i cant seem to be able to catch up. i dont even like what i see when i look in the mirror, reminds me of failures whenever i look at myself. i just dunno how to deal with all the hate and insecurities i have, sometimes i get so angry but i dont even know the reason why. OHMYGOD, i need therapy. i get so sick sometimes, of this whole shithead we call the world. everyone just stands around posing and pretending to be somethng they are not, i mean what the fuck is up with that? someone is always pretending to be rich smart poor kind pretty sexy. i pretend myself, sometimes. that life is okay and im content. my life's a lie. i just go through the motions
everyday, laughing and crying when the time's proper. butt theres always this empty gaping hole in me, i want what i want. thats whats wrong with me, i want something baaad but i dont wanna work hard for it. you look around the world, everyone is talking about climate change and endangered species, but you dont actually see it improving do you. governments just talk big n announce to the whole world that they are funding this and that, but you dont know where the funding's one. the next year, polar bears still die and the forests are gone. and the governments just say they willl give more funding. they should give he funding to those non profit organizations, the only results i see are from these. why am i even talking about this anyway. no one ever listens to kids.